105 degrees, an ascot, and a mom tradition that'll make you cry

I'm fresh off a weekend in Phoenix where it was 105 degrees, the RTO situation is getting messier, and Taylor Frankie Paul’s Bach season has officially been pulled.

Let's get into it.

RTO is becoming a layoff strategy, and executives are fully admitting it

Return-to-office mandates are accelerating hard in 2026. By EOY, nearly 1 in 3 companies will require 5 full days in-office, up from 28% last year. But here's the part that makes my blood pressure tick up: 1 in 4 execs has admitted they hoped some employees would quit when RTO policies were introduced. They’re admitting it’s a way to shrink headcount without the cost or PR hit of formal layoffs. Even wilder: the same survey found that only 16% of business leaders actually think 5 days a week should be the standard. They're mandating something they don't even believe in??

Taylor Frankie Paul's Bachelorette season got pulled before it even aired

If you (or your cool boss) follow reality TV even loosely, this one is worth knowing. Taylor Frankie Paul rose to fame on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, filmed a full season of The Bachelorette, and then had her season pulled by ABC after domestic violence allegations resurfaced. The show hadn't aired a single episode. She was widely considered a casting choice designed to bring in a new, social-media-native audience (guilty, was planning to watch). What happens to the season now is unclear, but it's an unprecedented situation for the franchise. Worth having at least one sentence ready if someone brings it up at happy hour.

A jury just found Elon Musk guilty of misleading investors via tweet; the tweet in question cost people $2.6 billion

Last Friday, a California jury found Elon Musk liable for defrauding Twitter shareholders during the lead-up to his $44 billion acquisition of the platform in 2022. The whole case hinged on a single May 2022 tweet where he said the deal was "temporarily on hold,” which sent Twitter's stock cratering nearly 40%. Shareholders who panicked and sold during that window lost A LOT of money, and the jury said that was Musk's fault. Total damages could reach $2.6 billion. For context, Musk's net worth is currently around $660 billion, so this is roughly the financial equivalent of a parking ticket for him. The best detail from testimony: Musk said on the stand, "if this was a trial about whether I made stupid tweets, I would say I'm guilty." At least he's…self-aware?

Flew to Phoenix this weekend for my college roommate's wedding, which meant 105 degrees, happy tears, and the very particular joy of watching two become one (blah blah) while slowly melting into your chair. The best part: my college friends started a mom-daughter trip tradition freshman year of college and have kept it going every single year since, so all our moms were all there! These women have watched us grow up, and now they're watching us get married, and if that doesn't wreck you a little, I don't know what will.

French child or Ken doll, jury's still out. The ascot is carrying the "I summer somewhere with cobblestones" energy while the linen shirt is doing what linen shirts do best: making me look like I tried when I did not! I am existing (in my mind only) somewhere between Saint-Tropez, Malibu Dreamhouse, and French countryside schoolyard.

I love a harmless prank. And April Fool’s Day is on a Wednesday this year, which means you have no excuse to not be prepared to make your coworkers’ days awful full of belly laughs.

A few lazy girl- (and HR, I think?) approved pranks you can claim ownership of:

1. Screenshot your coworker's desktop, set it as their wallpaper, then hide all their actual icons in a folder. They will spend a minimum of twenty minutes clicking on things that do nothing. Takes 45 seconds to execute.

2. Change your name and profile photo in Slack to match a coworker's, even just for an hour during a busy meeting day, ideally when you’re needed for something. Watch people try to reach you…then wonder if you quit…then see you sitting comfortably at your desk.

3. Print out a sign letting everyone know the printer is now voice-activated. Tape it to the printer. Watch people talk to the printer.

4. I mean…you can always freeze your coworker’s stapler in Jell-O. A classic.

Thanks for reading!