Coffee badging is an official strategy, Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid might be secretly married, and yes, I'm as into protein as everyone else

Turns out half the office has been coffee badging without me, Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid are way lower key than I am, and I hosted a dinner party without crying once.

Let's get into it.

Turns out everyone's RTO suspicions were correct

A new survey from resume platform Enhancv found that 72% of employees hit with new or stricter return-to-office mandates suspect the whole thing is a stealth layoff, i.e., a way to drive people out the door without paying severance. Even juicier: 46% admit to coffee badging, swiping into the office just long enough to be seen before slipping out to work from wherever they actually want to be. I've technically never coffee badged but I respect the strategy. If you're going to make me perform commitment, I'm going to perform it efficiently.

Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid might be married and nobody told us

Cooper and Hadid were spotted in Paris this week holding hands, both sporting matching gold bands on the fourth fingers of their left hands, which is either an extremely bold accessory choice or a very quiet wedding announcement. E! News reports the rings are Boucheron wedding bands. Neither has confirmed a thing, obviously, because that would be too easy. Adding this to the pile with Zendaya and Tom Holland and Taylor and Travis: 2026 is apparently the year of getting married and telling no one (can’t relate!).

The Bourdain biopic is here and critics are obsessed

Tony, A24's biopic about a 19-year-old Anthony Bourdain's transformative summer working a restaurant kitchen in Provincetown, hits theaters in New York and LA this Friday before going wide later this month, and it's already sitting at a nearly perfect 97% on Rotten Tomatoes. Dominic Sessa (yes, the Holdovers kid, all grown up) plays young Bourdain, and the trailer alone made me want to go work a dish pit purely for the experience. If you loved Kitchen Confidential or just miss Bourdain's whole chaotic-but-brilliant energy, this one's going straight to the top of my weekend list.

Friday I spent a solid four hours in a low-grade panic about hosting a dinner party (the fridge Tetris alone nearly broke me), but then it turned into one of the best nights of the summer. I briefly remembered that panicking never helps anything, but I will definitely forget that quite soon. We drank a shocking amount of Italian wine, which is officially my post-honeymoon favorite, and played our 400th round of Monopoly Deal (my husband and I have an actual problem). We also attempted the pasta recipe we learned in a tiny kitchen in Florence! Cup filled, apartment still smells like garlic, ten out of ten weekend.

It’s pretty hard to find weather-appropriate clothing for the weird fugue state that is summer in San Francisco. So I recommend this thneed chic turtleneck, which is both a shoulder-baring tank and an AC-proof pseudo-balaclava. And I love these flats, which I can walk thousands of steps in.

I am trying to eat more protein, but like anyone else, prefer non-protein meals. But we don't need a separate protein meal! We need protein we can sneak into meals we already make!

Here’s what I’ve been doing: stir a scoop of unflavored protein powder or collagen into my morning coffee, oatmeal, or soup right before enjoying. It dissolves and I can’t taste it. I also blend eggs with a scoop of cottage cheese and whatever vegetables are dying in my fridge, then bake in a muffin tin for 20 minutes and freeze the whole batch. The result: an immediate stack of protein bites that microwave in 90 seconds flat, which is faster than it takes to decide what I actually want for breakfast. And the trick that's changed the most for me: never eat a carb by itself. Toast alone is a snack that abandons you an hour later. Toast with a fried egg or peanut butter is a snack that actually holds you together through a 10am meeting.

Thanks for reading!