Hackers melted the freezer aisle, Microsoft would like you to leave, and me in a wig

Microsoft would like 60,000 people to consider leaving, hackers are defrosting Europe’s supermarkets, someone stole $6.3 billion in crypto in 20 minutes, and I did NOT dress up as a bush.

Let’s get into it.

Microsoft asked 60,000 employees if they’d maybe like to leave, no pressure

Microsoft is offering about a quarter of its workforce, roughly 60,000 people, a “Voluntary Exit Offer.” The memo says it gives employees more ways to “shape their next chapter,” which is the most HR sentence ever written. Reporting says people have until early December to decide and would be gone by the end of the year (happy holidays??!). The company expects far fewer takers than its spring retirement offer got, pointing to 5% to 6% at similar companies. Which leaves 1 question for your next coffee chat: how much would it take for you to voluntarily exit?

Hackers are coming for the grocery store freezers

Hackers got into the systems that remotely control supermarket fridges across 7 European countries this week and flipped them into defrost mode, pushing some to 122 degrees, which is hotter than a hot yoga class…but in the dairy aisle. A similar attack in France last month caused actual fires and cost stores millions of euros in ruined food. One supplier says the affected customers were running outdated software. The US may have been hit too: the Pentagon is looking into August hacks that melted the frozen food at military base commissaries. Cybersecurity firm Forescout counts more than 20 attacks on refrigeration systems this year, and there’s growing concern about AI-assisted hackers going after anything connected to the internet.

Someone stole $6.3 billion in crypto in 20 minutes, and it may have started with 1 laptop

Hackers took most of their $6.3 billion haul from Binance, the world’s biggest crypto exchange, in about 20 minutes last week, which is shorter than most meetings that could’ve been an email. It’s the largest crypto theft ever by a mile: 4x last year’s record Bybit hack and nearly double everything stolen in all of 2025. Binance paused withdrawals to overhaul its security and has promised to cover the losses, with about $3 billion frozen and the other $3.3 billion still out there… somewhere. Its emergency fund for exactly this kind of thing held only $1.23 billion (so much for planning ahead), which means the rest is coming out of its own pocket. The investigation first pointed to an engineer’s compromised laptop, though Binance has since said the hackers had other ways in too, and analysts suspect the same North Korean group allegedly behind Bybit while the FBI investigates. Somewhere, an engineer is having a much worse week than you.

Me in a wig? Shocking to exactly no one! My husband and I dressed up as Bad Bunny and one of the bush dancers from the Super Bowl halftime show, because I never did make it into the real thing (I tried!) and I don’t let go of things easily. My husband very sweetly asked which of us was going to be the bush. Sir. First Halloween as husband and wife? NAILED IT. Also, check out the “Dearly Departed” wall of guests at my bestie’s party. It’s so genius that I’m mad I didn’t think of it first.

Wait a damn minute…you could wear jeans and a t-shirt, or jeans and two t-shirts. Why do double shirts look so much cooler than singular? I have no clue. But two shirts means no jacket, which in San Francisco is basically a miracle, so that’s another point for layering. Paired perfectly with my Rag & Bone sweatpant jeans, which are my RIDE OR DIES.

It’s November, which means somewhere in your HR portal are the vacation days you’ve been “saving” since March, and depending on your company’s policy, they might expire. Don’t let that happen!

Start by logging into your HR portal and finding your real balance, then search your handbook for “carryover” or “rollover” to see whether those days survive Dec. 31. Now for the fun part: look at Dec. 28 through 31. Christmas and New Year’s Day both fall on Fridays this year, so if your company gives you both, 4 PTO days gets you 10 straight days off (you’re welcome). Still have days left? Block off a random Friday before mid-December, since nobody has ever regretted a 3-day weekend. And if your company has “unlimited” PTO, count how many days you’ve taken this year. Looking low? That’s your sign to book something, even if it’s just a mani pedi at noon on a Tuesday.

Thanks for reading!