Robot ducks, we all have a crush on Nathan Fielder, and I've discovered capes :/

Xbox wants more office days from fewer people, 20,000 adults just preordered a robot duck, and I’ve started wearing a cape to work.

Let’s get into it.

Nvidia’s CEO played with tiny robot ducks on stage and 20,000 people immediately preordered one

During his keynote in Berlin last week, Jensen Huang showed off a flock of waddling “Microducks” that sit, somersault, and dramatically fall over for a “nap” on voice command, all while making little R2-D2 noises. The clip went viral, and by the next day preorders had passed 20,000. They’re made by a robotics company owned by Hugging Face (which Nvidia bought in September) and should ship in time for Christmas. I guess… Labubus walked so robot ducks could waddle?

Xbox wants its people in the office 4 days a week, right after cutting a bunch of them

Per an internal memo, starting February 1, Xbox employees who live within 50 commuting miles of its Redmond office have to be in at least 4 days a week, which is 1 more than the rest of Microsoft. The memo also says coming in shouldn’t mean taking Teams calls from a different building (ok, I feel attacked). The timing is rough: Xbox has already cut 1,868 roles and plans to hit 3,200 by the end of its 2027 fiscal year. When Microsoft rolled out its 3-day rule, it said the policy had nothing to do with reducing headcount. Fewer coworkers, more days with them?? Brutal.

Everyone is spending 3 hours of their weekend with Elizabeth Holmes (me included)

Nathan Fielder (The Rehearsal, Nathan for You) and Lance Oppenheim spent over a month with Holmes and her family right before she reported to prison, and the result, You Can See Everything, opened to $15 million on just 855 screens, the biggest non-music documentary debut since Fahrenheit 9/11. Over 70% of that opening crowd was under 35, which tracks with every group chat I’m in. Then it went UP 25% in its second weekend to $19.5 million, landing just behind DC’s Clayface. It reportedly cost under $7 million to make, so whoever greenlit this deserves a promotion and a corner office.

I’ve officially declared this weekend The Great Closet Reorg, and I’m already losing. Exhibit A: a sweater I bought 5 years ago with the tags still on, which I am absolutely keeping (at this point it’s basically vintage). Somewhere in the back left corner, behind a wall of bridesmaid dresses, there’s a box of handwritten notes I’ve been saving since 4th grade, so if you don’t hear from me by Monday, that’s where to send the search party. My reward for surviving is a movie theater date with the Elizabeth Holmes documentary, though tbh I’m already eyeing all the new empty space like it’s a shopping list. Goal: fewer than 14 black tops. Realistic goal: 13.

I wore a cape to work because it’s basically a snuggie (remember those??) with buttons. Was afraid people would think I was cosplaying a superhero, but luckily no one bullied me! Also loving these sneakers, which slip on and are as comfy as slippers. This outfit makes me miss elementary school pajama day.

Thanksgiving is 4 weeks from Thursday, and nothing ruins a holiday quite like realizing you never booked your flight home and the only seat left costs 10x what it did two weeks ago. If you haven’t booked yet, open Google Flights, search your Thanksgiving and December dates, and flip on track prices so the price drops come to you. While you’re in travel mode, log into every airline account you’ve used this year and check for credits or points about to expire. That flight you cancelled in the spring may have left you a voucher, and those love to disappear right around the holidays.

Thanks for reading!